Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me by Chelsea's Family, Friends and Other Victims

Note from me:  Please excuse how brief this review is.  My grandmother passed away today and I just can't see myself being able to write a thorough review, but at the same time I don't want to put this off.

Synopsis

It's no lie: Chelsea Handler likes to smoke out "dumbasses," the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense.  Family, friends, and coworkers have all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools.  Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about their humiliating experiences.

It doesn't matter if you're minding your own business, busily working, or honeymooning thousands of miles away.  No one is ever safe from Chelsea's fake e-mail and phony pregnancies, bogus smuggling schemes and made-up sports bets.  Because whether it's premeditated or spur-of-the-moment, Chelsea will do anything for a laugh.  And that's the truth.

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1. Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang
2. Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me
3. My Horizontal Life
4. Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

That is the order in which I like Chelsea Handler's book.

This book was very funny.  I found myself laughing out loud, quite frequently.  Granted...99% of this book wasn't actually written by Chelsea, but you can still appreciate it as a "Chelsea Handler" book.

As abusive as Chelsea comes off in her many pranks, I found myself actually wanting to be her friend.  She abuses cause she cares.

Bottom line, read it.  I really enjoyed it.

~Missy

Jane by April Lindner

Plot

Forced to drop out of an esteemed East Coast college after the sudden death of her parents, Jane Moore takes a nanny job at Thornfield Park, the estate of Nico Rathburn, an iconic rock star on the brink of a huge comeback. Practical and independent, Jane reluctantly becomes entranced by her magnetic and brooding employer, and finds herself in the midst of a forbidden romance. But there's a mystery at Thornfield, and Jane's much-envied relationship with Nico is tested by a torturous secret from his past.

Part irresistible romance and part darkly engrossing mystery, this contemporary retelling of the beloved classic Jane Eyre promises to enchant a new generation of readers.

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I had mixed feelings about this book.  As you'll remember from my earlier review, I loved Jane Eyre.  That's why I opted to read this book.  I wanted to see how Lindner would go about updating the story and giving it her own little twist.

For those familiar with Jane Eyre, references to it are easy to spot, even outside of the plot.  Some things however did not translate as well as others.  In Jane Eyre, with Jane first encounters Mr. Rochester, the reader can understand why she doesn't know who he is from sight.  She's never met the man and has seen no pictures.  In Jane, Jane's first meeting with Rathburn is...confusing.  Prior to her starting the job, the book goes into great detail about Jane going online and researching him.  Her inability to know who he is makes zero sense and there's absolutely no adequate explanation given.

I also found some of the renaming of characters to be a little...lame.  To begin with, you don't even really need to keep the names similar to their original counterparts.  Those who've read Jane Eyre can make the connection on their own and those who haven't don't need to know.  While the occasional name similarities were a nice nod to the Jane Eyre fans, naming Rathburn's dog Copilot was beyond stupid, in my opinion.

I was really hoping Rathburn's big secret wasn't going to be exactly as it was in Jane Eyre and was marginally disappointed when that turned out to not be the case.  It would have in my opinion made the story just that much better.  I don't know what it should have been changed to, but it would have been nice for the big twist to have been another "Oh my god" moment.

Like I said before, I started reading this book because of my enjoyment of Jane Eyre.  As I read it though, something occurred to me.  Is it really fair that an author can piggyback on someone else's work...and especially for their debut novel.  I realize that writing a novel isn't easy, but I would imagine that having the entire plot handed to you and only needing to update a few key points makes it significantly easier.  While the idea is good in theory, I can't help but feel that retelling someone else's book is just short of cheating.

Alright.  Enough about what I didn't like.  On to what I did like.

I found myself able to relate to Jane a lot easier than I did, while reading Jane Eyre.  I think putting her in the modern world and placing her in situations more familiar to myself, I could see more of myself in her.  I found myself feeling that I was/am Jane.  I really liked that.

I also found the love story between Jane and Rathburn to be easier to relate to, for pretty much the same reasons.  I can't understand the world Jane Eyre occurs in, but the setting of Jane I could completely get.  It made the love story all the more enchanting.

Bottom line...read it, I guess?  If you like Jane Eyre, I think you might enjoy seeing how Lindner put a new spin on it.  If you haven't read Jane Eyre, I think this book could hook you enough to get you to read the original piece.

~Missy

Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters

Plot

This delicious, steamy debut novel chronicles the adventures of Nan King, who begins life as an oyster girl in the provincial seaside town of Whitstable and whose fortunes are forever changed when she falls in love with a cross-dressing music-hall singer named Miss Kitty Butler.


When Kitty is called up to London for an engagement on "Grease Paint Avenue", Nan follows as her dresser and secret lover, and, soon after, dons trousers herself and joins the act. In time, Kitty breaks her heart, and Nan assumes the guise of butch roue to commence her own thrilling and varied sexual education - a sort of Moll Flanders in drag - finally finding friendship and true love in the most unexpected places.

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So this book took a downward progression for me, as it went on.  In the end, I did enjoy it, but as I made my way through it, I found myself beginning to like it less and less.

To begin with, there were certain twists in the story that I saw coming pages in advance.  I have to give Waters some leniency, since this was her debut novel, but still...a lot of the plot seemed to follow a fairly predictable formula, at times.  Events that were meant to shock or surprise me were entirely expected on my part.

Then there's the character of Nancy.  I started the book liking her.  She seemed like a completely together and likable girl.  Then, all of the sudden I found myself being completely annoyed and put-off by her.  She went from being this strong, independent girl and just suddenly became this weak, whiny thing.  I hated it.  She redeemed herself in the end, but I just didn't like the way her character changed, at times.

Bottom line, I'll say...read it.  For all its flaws, it's a better-than-decent read.  I've read one other book by Waters and I didn't enjoy it nearly as much as this one (which is odd considering this was her first...shouldn't your work improve?).  Be warned ahead of time though that this is a "lesbian fiction" book and...it's kinda heavy on the lesbian, so be prepared for that.  Not saying it's a bad thing.  I just feel compelled to give you a heads up so you're not caught completely off-guard.

~Missy

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

Plot

Orphaned into the household of her Aunt Reed at Gateshead, subject to the cruel regime at Lowood charity school, Jane Eyre nonetheless emerges unbroken in spirit and integrity.  She takes up the post of governess at Thornfield, falls in love with Mr. Rochester, and discovers the impediment to their lawful marriage in a story that transcends melodrama to portray a woman's passionate search for a wider and richer life than Victorian society traditionally allowed.

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Oh my god...I loved this book.  I seriously have no idea why it's taken me this long to read it (both in the length of time it took me to start and in how long it finally took me to finish).  It was, hands down, one of the best books I've ever read.

I normally don't enjoy the so-called classics that much.  They tend to be sort of...boring.  I find them way too descriptive of unimportant things and, as a result, they seem to drag on into eternity.  I didn't feel that way with Jane Eyre.  Don't get me wrong, it was definitely one of my slower reads, but it didn't have that same uninteresting feel that most slow-reads give me.

I did find the start of the book to be sort of dreary, but that just added to the overall feel of Jane's progression through life and further emphasized just how strong of a character she becomes.  The poor girl goes through all this hardship in her childhood and early adult life and still comes out with her head held high.  Very inspiring.

Don't even get me started on Rochester.  Jane and Rochester's relationship, I feel, rivals Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy.  Seriously.  I don't know why I've never heard about Edward Rochester, prior to reading this book.  Very underrated character, if you ask me.  Love him.

Bottom line, definitely read it...obviously.  You won't be disappointed.  I loved it completely,

~Missy

Le Grand Meaulnes by Alain-Fournier

Plot

When Meaulnes first arrives at the local school in Sologne, everyone is captivated by his good looks, daring, and charisma. But when he disappears for several days, and returns with tales of a strange party at a mysterious house and a beautiful girl hidden within it, Meaulnes has been changed forever. In his restless search for his Lost Estate and the happiness he found there, Meaulnes, observed by his loyal friend Francois, may risk losing everything he ever had.

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I really only have one word for this book: Blah. It wasn’t that great of a read. I mean, it had a lot of potential, but I just wasn’t feeling it. I never really felt for any of the characters, so I didn’t really care whether or not any of them found what they were seeking.

I read this book, because it was listed in 501 Must-Read Books. Truth be told, that will be my reason behind about two-thirds of the books on my “To Read” List. Anyway, I cannot for the life of me figure out why Le Grand Meaulnes was classified as a “Must-Read”. Like I said, it wasn’t too spectacular.

Bottom line, read it if you want, but it’s not a book that would pop into my head, if someone were to ask me for a recommendation on their next read.

~Missy

P.S.
If you do decide to read this book, you'll find it under its English title The Lost Estate.